Pantoum – Slow Waltz “Last Anniversary Party (During the Chemo)”
Silver Slipper
Due to the death of my beloved father last week, I’ve spent the last few days somewhat focused on loss. Here is an older poem, a pantoum, that deals with the loss of a friend. (I posted a very early draft of this poem some time ago. I think this version is much improved. I am linking it to dVerse Poets Pub open link night.)
I’m not sure the poem quite works, even improved. However, the pantoum form, which is by its nature a bit of an unwieldy dance (with all the repeating lines) seems to suit the subject. (As with all my poetry, pauses in reading should be taken based on punctuation, not line breaks.)
Last Anniversary Party (During the Chemo)
She walked that night on the side
edges of silver slippers,
her smile stretched movie-star wide
above feet the meds had blistered.
The edges of silver slippers,
gathering (elasticized)
around feet the meds had blistered,
wedged in a slow waltz that defined
our gathering. Elasticized
sweetness stretched around the bitter
wedge that their slow waltz defined.
With her husband, her too, we fitted
into that sweetness (stretched around the bitter
to make it last), pain astride.
With her husband, her too, we fitted
loss with all that sparkled fine
to make it last. Pain astride
a smile stretched movie-star wide
lost none of that sparkle fine.
She walked that night still on this side.
Tags: "Last Anniversary Party (During the Chemo)", Karin Gustafson, manicddaily, pantoum, poem about chemotherapy, poem about last anniversary party
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ManicDDaily 
January 10, 2012 at 2:59 pm
Piercing, yet also shining, and I think a really effective use of the form as well, K. It has that circular effect without the repetition ever being a drone, with the very adept tweaks of refrain, and the diamond clean imagery. Excellent piece.
January 10, 2012 at 3:03 pm
Thanks. I’m conscious that there is definitely something awkward and halting about it, but I think/hope that that supports content. Thanks much. K>
January 10, 2012 at 3:04 pm
This is excellent!
January 10, 2012 at 3:13 pm
this is very moving k. – and i think the pantoum form works well for the topic..sorry for the loss..
January 10, 2012 at 3:16 pm
this took me right back to when my MIL passed away…the bruised blistered feet and legs…i was right there…
January 10, 2012 at 3:16 pm
a powerful and emotive piece for sure – the sense of loss – and the form was used so well to complement that – I think the nature of it – the mirroring indeed suits the style and you worked it so well here! great imagery throughout – enjoyed! OT
January 10, 2012 at 3:33 pm
Very beautiful, Karin. Exquisite details. I wonder what would happen if you tried a free-verse version? I wonder what further intense detail might emerge? But not that you haven’t handled this form brilliantly. xxj
January 10, 2012 at 5:04 pm
I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is so heartbreaking. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
January 10, 2012 at 8:24 pm
Thanks.
January 10, 2012 at 5:59 pm
Really evoked the loss in your piece, could feel it as I read through. Geninuly displayed.
January 10, 2012 at 8:16 pm
Powerful, and works well in this form. Sorry for your loss.
January 10, 2012 at 8:20 pm
The attention to tiny details (walking on the edges of slippers, the swollen feet) make this a truth captured in skillful verse. The sense of hope and loss are palpable.
January 10, 2012 at 8:32 pm
I am sorry for your loss. Your poetry form is lovely specially this:
She walked that night still on this side.
January 11, 2012 at 12:32 am
Elasticized
sweetness stretched around the bitter
wedge that their slow waltz defined. -> is such great poetry
January 11, 2012 at 4:38 am
Well crafted and so it works beautifully. I found it very moving. Thank you for sharing it.
January 11, 2012 at 9:40 am
Oh, wow. The ending is just breathtaking.
January 11, 2012 at 1:20 pm
Karin, I’m sorry about the loss of your father. It seems to me life is so short and death visits so often as we gain a few years ourselves. This pantoum is so touching, poignant. You have such a gift for evoking strong emotions. Re: my novel–I also read for the most part on Kindle. If you do download it there, would you be willing to do a review? Be honest. It’s just good to have feedback and also to show book-browsers that someone’s reading it. I’ve yet to download yours (am so far behind in things) and would be happy to do the same for you. xoV
January 14, 2012 at 10:55 am
The form stretches out her walk nearly unbearably, each stanza becoming a step, the precise detail of her feet and the meds stretched elasticwise against the longer aisle/scope of the gathering, the introduction of “we fitted” phrase — which stumbles in the metre sort of? — supporting what’s uncertain in the moment. So the syntax supports the message beautifully.
January 14, 2012 at 4:24 pm
Thanks, Kathy.