Not really Comic or Super Poem (For dVerse Poets Pub “Comic” Prompt) (But at least has elephant)
Here’s a new poem (too long–sorry–and still very much a draft), written for dVerse Poets Pub “Poetics” challenge relating to comics. The drawing (done on my iPhone) doesn’t really suit the poem, but I couldn’t resist using it.
Power of Choice or Need
My childhood comic of choice was Archie and heroine
Betty, (fellow blonde and would-be
do-gooder), even though doing good,
in those comics, seemed
synonymous with disappointment.
Of course, the disappointment, was only in the long-lashed eye
of the short-sighted; those impatient
grasping sorts who did not
understand that good-hearted losses,
like all karmic set-backs, must turn golden (i.e. blonde)
at the end, as the universal
balance of good and evil (i.e. Betty’s cute turned-up nose vs.
Veronica’s snooty turned-up nose) righted itself, and a date
with Archie was achieved.
But now that I have no hope of cinched-in waist,
parabolic breasts, or a date with even a
rather bumbling teen throb, my sites turn to the super, those
tragic but helpful figures, only I think
that if I could grow a super power of choice or need, it
would sprout not in my limbs, but inside my heart, taking
the crud of resentment
as its Krypton;
transforming the sting (recurrent)
of abandonment into
the spark of a magic spider’s
teeth. (With what else
do they bite?)
Morphing the hurt that embeds the claw
into the wide yaw
of empathy; telescoping
that chopped controlling beat into
a galaxy of embrace whose
planets orbit some other sun, where
there are no black holes, and where love, like other
universal forces, can be found in the radial outreach
of just about everything (sound waves from dropped pin,
ringed water round skipped stone, mossy antlers on
rutting stag, maple branches in
wet snow, the listening
consciousness).
It would be a strength, I think,
inked in the unhealed, unhealing heart, allowing it
to flow with the currents of uncertainty, to
fly vulnerable.
Tags: "comic poetry", Archie and Betty poetry, dVerse poets pub poetics, iPhone art, Karin Gustafson poetry, manicddaily, super power poetry
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December 3, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Wow! Terrific– I love so much:
Morphing the hurt that embeds the claw
into the wide yaw
of empathy; telescoping
that chopped controlling beat into
a galaxy of embrace whose
planets orbit some other sun, where
there are no black holes, and where love, like other
universal forces, can be found in the radial outreach
of just about everything (sound waves from dropped pin,
ringed water round skipped stone, mossy antlers on
rutting stag, maple branches in
wet snow, the listening
consciousness).
I think maybe as the vulnerability is all too implied you might well end the poem here…xxxxj http://parolavivace.blogspot.com think we might be on same wave-length. xxxj
December 3, 2011 at 4:10 pm
That makes sense. It was very quickly done. That makes a lot of sense. K.
December 3, 2011 at 4:18 pm
PS – I have very little time today, on a visit, so can’t really look at it again for a bit! But thanks.
December 3, 2011 at 4:53 pm
so cool..i love that flying superhero elephant.. and i love flying vulnerable…that sums it up beautifully and i think that’s something we all do in a way…
December 3, 2011 at 4:54 pm
i think that would be the perfect super power, esp if it was contageous and changed others hearts like kryptonite…from right after that line this gets really tight….agree with the above sentiment on where to end it as well…
December 3, 2011 at 6:51 pm
Thanks. I should confess that I had thought I had psyched out the prompt and I had written the last half of the poem as a “super” poem rather than “comic strip” poem. Then it felt inappropriate and I started working on the other bits re Betty and Veronica–but I really didn’t want to jettison the “super” poem.
Probably best not to worry so much about the prompt–this is an issue I have–it’s a spark for a poem, not truly the rules of a game.
Oh well. Thanks for all the helpful comments. K.
December 3, 2011 at 5:13 pm
I adore the elephant. 🙂
Certainly a first draft very nearly there, and worth tweaking.
I used to like Archie comics too.
December 3, 2011 at 6:55 pm
Thanks much. This is old elephant made from iPhone Brushes App. I have iPad now, which is much easier due to size. Of course, plain old paper and water colors are best, but it’s great to have a studio in one’s pocket. K.
December 3, 2011 at 6:24 pm
Beautiful. I love the elephant in a pink cape 🙂 and this part of the poem really grabbed my attention: “only I think
that if I could grow a super power of choice or need, it
would sprout not in my limbs, but inside my heart, taking
the crud of resentment
as its Krypton;
transforming the sting (recurrent)
of abandonment into
the spark of a magic spider’s
teeth.”
December 3, 2011 at 6:54 pm
Thanks. I’m big on elephants.
December 3, 2011 at 6:24 pm
Oh, where can I sign up for a super power too? Interesting thoughts, I didn’t expect you to end up where you did. I’d love to see this again after a bit of polishing, you have some really interesting ideas floating around in here.
December 3, 2011 at 6:39 pm
There is a lot in this one–I don’t know about completely jettisoning the last lines–I like the flying part, but you’re brave to stick it up–I’m a compulsive rewriter, myself. This has a lot of strength, both in concept and language–and in the way that it reflects the identity of comic book heroes as archetypes, it describes what people actually do try to do when they sincerely strive for the best. Oh, wth–i just liked it, Karin.
December 3, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Thanks! I am really very busy at the moment–I’ve been helping out my parents who are not well, after a few days with my father-in-law who is not well, so a lot of not-well-ness. But I think it’s important to keep some flow going even with little time. As I mentioned to Brian, I had worked on the last part after thinking I’d psyched out the prompt as super–than when I saw “comic” felt like I had to add something specifically comic.
The problem with putting things up too early is that it can be really difficult (embarrassment factor) to look at them again for a while. But that is something one needs to grow beyond, I think. Thanks much for your kind comment. K.
December 3, 2011 at 6:43 pm
This is wonderful. Bring on this super power and all it entails!
December 3, 2011 at 6:53 pm
THanks.
December 4, 2011 at 9:06 pm
“if I could grow a super power of choice or need, it
would sprout not in my limbs, but inside my heart,”
Love these lines…
December 5, 2011 at 3:14 pm
if I could grow a super power of choice or need, it
would sprout not in my limbs, but inside my heart
I see I’m not the only one that enjoyed this line!
October 27, 2012 at 9:12 pm
Love the chronicle of matur(ity)(ing) from a time I know (Betty/Veronica) and time when waist will not cinch (LOL) to understanding life’s karmic wounds and seeing love radiate outwards from all. Loved this poem. When I started I did not know where it might lead and then taken skillfully to healing. Thank-you.
October 27, 2012 at 9:24 pm
Thanks so much – that was an old poem and very much a draft and one I’d completely forgotten. So glad to revisit it with your visit! I think I’d cut it a bit now, but I really appreciate our comments. Thanks again. k.