Change Poem – Mother/Daughter/Sister/Hands (“Making It Better”)
DVerse Poets Pub has a “Poetics” challenge to write about change today which set me to thinking of both the new and old. Here’s the resulting poem:
Making it Better
I think today, the anniversary of my daughter’s birth,
of my mother’s grace–
how she came to my hospital bed at 8 a.m.,
two hours after leaving her sister’s,
her favorite red blouse catching
the robin’s egg fluorescents, the curled tips
of her brown hair carefully
slipped back as she
bent over over the bassinet,
exuding unshadowed wonder.
My mother, who never made any
decision without vocal re-thinks,
not asking me
at that time
how she should dress
her sister–whether the funeral home’s gown
would not be too frilly–she worked after all,
had a career—
carrying only in the back of her dark eyes
the echos of that laboring pant
that strains so to keep on–
My mother, cupping
my daughter’s still-damp head,
in the same cool hands that had
stroked my forehead as a child, as her mother
had stroked hers, and that now,
when she’s been sisterless
and motherless for many years,
stroke her own forehead, wiping
the thinned hair back.
Like this, like this, she shows me,
running her palms over the
join of face and crown–
her particular self and her
universal self–I just find
that it makes me feel better.
Tags: change poem, dVerse Poets Pub, IPad drawing of woman, ManicDDaily poem, mother-daughter poem, new life and death poem
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November 19, 2011 at 3:45 pm
My mother, who never made any
decision without vocal re-thinks, -> that’s funny in the middle of all the seriousness
running her palms over the
join of face and crown -> great image
November 19, 2011 at 3:47 pm
wow…love this…nice link across the generations…love new baby scent as well and this came off as a very tender moment for me…smiles.
November 19, 2011 at 3:48 pm
there’s a sadness to this..a sense of loss that touches me..the life..the death…the feelings in between..the feelings in such moments…the questions and thoughts..a lot going on here..
November 19, 2011 at 4:01 pm
Thanks. Yes, it is a true story and a shocking contrast, my aunt dying the same morning that my daughter was born; my mother in town for both events essentially. Pretty hard on her, and for me, a bit strange–when you are a very new mother of a healthy child, hard to feel anything but joy.
November 19, 2011 at 4:09 pm
Touching lines…
November 19, 2011 at 4:14 pm
This is really sublime writing, catching so many family personae in a mother’s gesture to a new mother, from womb to tomb and back. You captured a moment that reads the whole inside of another person’s heart who is so much your own. Fine work. – Brendan
November 19, 2011 at 4:16 pm
Thanks so much. I feel like my posted poetry has been rather grim of late! A lot happening. I appreciate your kind words. K.
November 19, 2011 at 4:20 pm
A beautiful portrait of familial love and the changes it undergoes over the years. Really quite wonderful!
November 19, 2011 at 4:53 pm
A beautiful, and very touching poem about mother-love!
November 19, 2011 at 6:18 pm
This is breath-taking– so lyrical and knowing when to elaborate and when to pull back. Your advice was wonderful and for now I’m trying the poem sans the bread!
I especially loved these lines:
how she came to my hospital bed at 8 a.m.,
two hours after leaving her sister’s,
her favorite red blouse catching
the robin’s egg fluorescents, the curled tips
of her brown hair carefully
slipped back as she
bent over over the bassinet,
exuding unshadowed wonder.
gorgeous…xxxxj
November 19, 2011 at 6:28 pm
I find this really beautiful, a beautiful story of love between generations (Mother/Daughter/Sister/Hands feels so right as title!). Love this:
her favorite red blouse catching
the robin’s egg fluorescents
and
her particular self and her
universal self in the final stanza
and I love the showing there, of how she like the hands to run. A really, really touching poem.
November 19, 2011 at 7:05 pm
That gesture you make central here–the hands stroking back the hair, caressing the forehead–I almost wrote a poem about it awhile back–I was thinking how wonderful that touch is, how able to relieve every fear and anxiety, when you’re a child…and I can actually see your mother making it in this poem, so vividly do you paint her. A very well-wrought and life-affirming piece.
November 19, 2011 at 10:33 pm
Thanks so much, Hedge. I have a draft poem that I wrote just about that gesture which I may look up if I have time and re-write. It was from a slightly different perspective. I was thinking of this one today because it is, in fact, my daughter’s birthday. Thanks. K.
November 19, 2011 at 7:32 pm
Wow! There is certainly sadness here, but there is also joy, strength, and I think, most of all, love for a mother. This is a fantastic play with the prompt…but in all seriousness, a brilliant write!
November 19, 2011 at 10:35 pm
Thanks so much, Tash. K.
November 19, 2011 at 11:36 pm
Hi K.– reworked it yet again– see what you think when you have time. xxxxj http://parolavivace.blogspot.com
November 20, 2011 at 6:32 am
This is a treasure to share again and again through these generations. I’m envious of this writing for so much of it I would love to have said about my own mother. Thank you truly for this writing.
November 20, 2011 at 9:25 am
Thanks so much, Yousei.
November 20, 2011 at 6:40 am
Illustrates the giving and taking that life offers and why a birth so often trumps that of a death.
November 20, 2011 at 7:29 am
Precious all the way around. I still need to touch my young son’s cheek every day and he still reaches for my hand when we walk. With six children, I know this ends… but I’m dreading it. Your mother’s hands (a mother’s touch) … I can close my eyes and feel it. I really loved this- thank you.
November 20, 2011 at 9:10 am
This is incredibly moving. Beautiful write.
November 20, 2011 at 9:23 am
This comes across as bitter/sweet, something not easy to achieve, but here wonderfully accomplished. A joy to read.
November 20, 2011 at 11:00 am
bittersweet.
Happy Sunday.
🙂
November 20, 2011 at 3:06 pm
This touched many emotions in me. Such a contrast of having lost a sister and gained a grand baby in one day and yes, with grace. I too loved the image of the hand stroking the forehead. We all can relate to that…
November 20, 2011 at 9:05 pm
Happy Birthday to your daughter.
moving family story, passionate sentiments, well done.
November 20, 2011 at 9:08 pm
Thanks so much.
November 21, 2011 at 11:21 pm
this is bitter-sweet in the way that you take us from the start of one life as another ends and every where in between but not in a chronological sense but more of a drifting gracefully from cloud thought to cloud thought – flowing and dream-like. I really enjoyed this. thank you.