Conversation Poem? (“No Good Answer”)

dVerse Poets Pub has a poetics challenge today, hosted by the wonderful Claudia Schoenfeld (who lives in Germany but writes beautiful poetry in English)  asking for a “call and response” or conversation poem.

The poem below is a conversation in which one person speaks in words, the other gestures.  it’s a pretty grim poem, sorry.  (Please remember it’s a poem, i.e. work of art! )  Also note that, although it rhymes and has line breaks, pauses should really only be taken where punctuated and not at the end of a line.

No Good Answer

She took a brush and hit her hand,
trying hard to make a stand.

“Just go,” he sighed,
“it’s just not working.
You’ve got to know
I’m not just jerking
you around.
No, it’s just the way I am is all,
I’m not the one for you at all.”

She stuck a tack into her wrist,
showing him a bloodied fist.

He shuddered, turned aside his head,
“It’s time for me to go to bed,”
then left her for their one spare room,
while she sat on beneath a gloom
of fear
that she would stop the pain
so that it would not come again.

But she was frozen, could not move,
luckily, perhaps, since all self-love
had vanished
just as his had done,
not to be found under moon or sun.

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16 Comments on “Conversation Poem? (“No Good Answer”)”

  1. claudia Says:

    ugh…a sad one indeed but beautifully penned..deep with emotions and pain..

  2. brian miller Says:

    grim indeed…all self love left with his…shivers…that happens all too often…though it does take two to make a relationship work…yet we put it all on ourselves…


  3. So sad. I wonder why she has lost hope in all? And what’s his problem? He seems pretty cold.

    See? You made me get all caught up in this art. Well done!

    xo

  4. christine Says:

    painful indeed, unrequited love sucks

  5. hedgewitch Says:

    Stark and grim, but well written and reflective of the traps we can set for ourselves.


  6. so tragic! hard to read but moving!

  7. zongrik Says:

    it’s sad that people in a relationship like this are so stuck and don’t know how to get out of it.

  8. Mary Says:

    Very sad, but well described. Painful experiences sometimes are the source of good poetry.

  9. Nick Rolynd Says:

    Very morose tone, but I loved the form and pacing on this. Thanks for the read!

  10. Ravenblack Says:

    It comes back to the title also, I think. He had no good answer after seeing what she did. He didn’t want to comfort her because he truly wants to break it off. On her side, I can relate to unpleasant “freeze” that follows a breakup. Painful.

  11. tinkwelborn Says:

    sad, painful, an ending, a death (of a relationship).
    such pain exudes from this poem.
    well written and evoked.


  12. How difficult it is at times to let go a relationship that has become destructive – if only for one partner.

    Grim write and excellent observation.

    Anna :o]


  13. Heart-rending. An example of conversation without real communication.

  14. ybawany Says:

    Sometimes, a break up leaves you shattered and rattled to the core. Here’s my take on lost love:

    http://yousufbawany.wordpress.com/2012/02/18/nursing-a-broken-heart/


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