Shaped Poetry? Gulp. “The Sweater Swallows”
I first posted this for the DVerse Poets Pub “form for all” challenge, hosted by Gay Reiser Cannon, of making a “Shaped” or “Concrete Poem,” and now I am linking to Poetry Rally.
Agh. For me, making a concrete poem feels like hitting my head against a wall. (I’m just not a concrete kind of gal.) I should try it for exactly that reason, I suppose, but instead I’ve opted for more of an illustrated poem. (Yes, it’s a bit silly. I am, I guess, a silly kind of a gal.)
Tags: drawn poem, form for all shaped poem, illustrated poem, iPad art, manicddaily, poem about putting a sweater on child, shaped poetry
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ManicDDaily 
October 20, 2011 at 3:27 pm
My sky is like blue jello with cotton candy topping. I’d love to taste my sky today. What a fun poem, a bit silly but that is its charm. 🙂
October 20, 2011 at 3:35 pm
Yes, it’s a very cotton candy sky! I wasn’t really thinking of that part. I have to take a train soon, and just used colors where the words would show up! You are absolutely right!
October 20, 2011 at 3:34 pm
This is super delightful, thank you.
October 20, 2011 at 4:16 pm
A cleverly delicious poem. This works well I think. The range I’ve looked at is very wide and runs from the ridiculous to the outraged, from deeply philosophical, to rantingly political, from whimsical to saccharine. It’s all good and your drawing is brilliant. Have fun on your trip and thank you for participating with this fine little poem today.
October 20, 2011 at 4:22 pm
Wow! This poem is adorable and it made me smile w i d e l y.
October 20, 2011 at 5:31 pm
So fun. I love the whimsy of it all.
October 20, 2011 at 6:24 pm
This was simply….wonderful!
“Head burps into a room!”
I may forever hold that image in my head when wrestling clothes onto my baby 🙂
I feel I have to thank you for that lol!
October 20, 2011 at 6:29 pm
Fun… you make it look so easy!
October 20, 2011 at 7:07 pm
haha and here i thought you did not like shape people…burps into a room that tastes like th sky…very cool…..i like it…smiles. not a sweater fan though…
October 20, 2011 at 7:53 pm
Thanks, Brian. I don’t like shaped poetry much, but that’s just me. I think I rush through things too much. I do edit a lot, but I like to rush through first time!
October 20, 2011 at 7:38 pm
I love this!
October 20, 2011 at 7:50 pm
Thanks so much to all the commenters. You are all very kind. Thanks!
October 20, 2011 at 9:48 pm
Maybe silly, but I like that in a poem. 😉
October 20, 2011 at 10:16 pm
Terrific poem, head burps into the room, fantastic line, perfect picture, lots of effort put into this.
October 21, 2011 at 8:07 am
Thanks, Christine. (I have to confess that I have an iPad 2 with a great drawing app called Brushes. They are just wonderful for illustration–making it much much easier to try and post all kinds of things.)
October 20, 2011 at 10:22 pm
head burps into a room that tasted like sky – that is better than a dr. seuss line – I love, love it!
October 20, 2011 at 10:53 pm
this is so much fun – very creative
October 21, 2011 at 8:06 am
Thanks, Jo. (So nice to hear from you!)
October 20, 2011 at 11:52 pm
oh you should see me smile..i just love it…really love it…so very creative and wooly warm…smiles
October 21, 2011 at 8:05 am
Thanks, Claudia!
October 21, 2011 at 8:29 am
funny… nice write… you understand the dressing process with young kids… how did you do that
October 21, 2011 at 9:08 am
I think you are not asking about how I got them dressed–it took years! In terms of poem/drawing, I have an iPad 2 which is just a magic type of device and have a wonderful app, called Brushes, which is primarily a drawing/painting app, but can be used in a million ways. There are other illustration Apps, but I’ve found that I like Brushes the best. K.
October 21, 2011 at 8:42 am
“Burps” indeed! What a sudden startling joy! – Brendan
October 21, 2011 at 8:55 am
A great poem and so creatively presented.
My favourite line has to be “at last, heads burps into a room” – so true, whenever you put a jumper on a toddler the head seems to disappear for such a long time!
October 21, 2011 at 4:32 pm
Very creative and most charming–loved the whole thing. Pulling on sweaters seems to drive children absolutely wild, for some reason.
October 21, 2011 at 8:00 pm
Dare I use this word in such erudite company but..very cute poem.
October 22, 2011 at 11:15 am
nice. thanks for the really wonderful comment on my writing an’other’ persons voice with an’other’ persons story that is much different from yours…as i said should be fun…smiles….see ya later….
October 22, 2011 at 11:24 am
You know–another great example of that stuff (other voice) is Rilke–all those great songs. Thought of him with Claudia.
October 23, 2011 at 8:20 am
hahahaaha…… how sweet! You have such a terrific imagination that touches on all the little parts of life and memories of it that make it so wonderful……. I’d be rich if I had a nickel for every sweater I pulled over a kids head, but I’m even richer for the memories of it….. thank you……..
October 23, 2011 at 9:05 am
Thanks so much, John.
December 14, 2011 at 2:39 pm
very creative
December 14, 2011 at 8:21 pm
lol, it was fun, creative, artistic, and made me smile, so if it is silly, it’s mad cool in my book! 🙂
happy rally!
http://lynnaima.wordpress.com/2011/12/14/discomfort/
December 14, 2011 at 9:36 pm
Love it! Very cute!
December 14, 2011 at 11:26 pm
Nice drawing and poem–being swallowed by a sweater is kind of a scary experience. Not to mention the post-digestion frizz 🙂
December 15, 2011 at 5:27 am
I really like this because it’s so original and………it’s real. 🙂
December 15, 2011 at 6:22 am
Thanks, Kay.
December 15, 2011 at 11:48 am
powerful illustration, wow.
you are capable of many stuff.
December 15, 2011 at 1:04 pm
What an interesting device – art within art. Well done.
Cheers,
Mark Butkus
December 15, 2011 at 3:37 pm
very, very clever…and concrete enough.
a room that tastes like sky…funny.
good piece.
December 16, 2011 at 8:31 am
Brilliant idea, both the illustration and the words. Brings back a lot of not-too-good childhood memories and feelings of sweater claustrophobia for me!
December 16, 2011 at 9:19 am
Ha! Thanks!
December 16, 2011 at 10:10 pm
Totally charming! So cute…
December 17, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Aww, how cute! Well done 🙂 Blessings, Terri
December 21, 2011 at 11:52 pm
I’m so glad you took on the challenge of the form that you did not feel fits you. This poem is a lot of fun, and well written. I really enjoy the illustration and colors, too, making a really nice complete effect.
KInd of interesting, too, the way you felt awkward about tackling a shaped poem, and the way the child gets squeezed within the shape of the clothes. That parallelism really contributes to the piece.