An Egg is Still Not a Lightbulb (Crafting Poetry)
I have lately been following a terrific poet-inspiring blog called dVerse Poets Pub; I’m a bit new to the pub, and in anticipation or what, last week,was a day to post “works-in-progress”, I posted, this morning, a draft poem (Dolphin Dream). But instead dVerse Poets Pub has requested poets to think today about the craft of poetry!
The craft of poetry! Thinking! I don’t know which is more difficult for me. Both take some measure of disciplined focus and wild abandon. I do a lot of revision when I write; at the same time, I rely a huge amount on unconscious leaps. Increasingly, these leaps probably arise from synaptic gaps (or gaffes), as much as from inspiration. I try to use these gaps as starting out places, and then, ideally, I go over and over them to iron out the rough edges. Good to leave some rough edges though. And, of course, to add music.
A form can help as it can supply some of the discipline and focus. (As well as the music.)
And now, here’s a poem about it.
Villanelle to Wandering Brain
Sometimes my mind feels like it’s lost its way
and must make do with words that are in reach
as pink as dusk (not dawn), the half-light of the day,
when what it craves is crimson, noon in May,
the unscathed verb or complex forms of speech.
But sometimes my mind feels like it’s lost its way
and calls the egg a lightbulb, a plan a tray,
and no matter how I search or how beseech,
is pink as dusk (not dawn), the half-light of the day.
I try to make a joke of my decay
or say that busy-ness acts as the leech
that makes my mind feel like it’s lost its way,
but whole years seem as spent as last month’s pay,
plundered in unmet dares to eat a peach
as pink as dusk (not dawn), the half-light of the day.
There is so much I think I still should say,
so press poor words like linens to heart’s breach,
but find my mind has somehow lost its way
as pink as dusk (not dawn), the half-light of the day.
(Sorry to those who have read the poem before, a reposting. It’s also in my book, Going on Somewhere, by Karin Gustafson, available on Amazon.)
Explore posts in the same categories: poetryTags: dVerse Poets Pub, Egg is not a lightbulb, Karin Gustafson, Karin Gustafson poetry, manicddaily, villanelle, villanelle about aging, villanelle about use of words
You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.
ManicDDaily 
September 29, 2011 at 5:14 pm
Form is part and parcel to craft. Your frustration is mine and that of other well-intentioned poets. Just the frustration alone tells me you have talent. The most beautiful pieces of art are forged out of frustration. I will not critique your piece, for I am not nor want judge your piece. Just let me say “I love it!”
September 29, 2011 at 5:18 pm
Ha. Frustration is certainly a very common (and hot) forge!
September 29, 2011 at 5:22 pm
“but whole years seem as spent as last month’s pay,” I do know what that feels like! And, I know the frustration of which you speak. There are some great lines here, and I enjoyed your explanation and interpretation 🙂
September 29, 2011 at 6:52 pm
Thanks so much, Lori.
September 29, 2011 at 6:14 pm
You’ve pulled in many great metaphors here – I like the tray, the peach, and egg as lightbulb. A question – should “it” be “I” in S3L2?
Otherwise it doesn’t quite work as subject /verb don’t agree. I think it might be a typo. But over all I thought it was fabulous! Thanks, G.
September 29, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Gay, thanks so much! Frankly, my aging mind doesn’t know now what I meant or what the published version says. I’m not sure if I thought about it, or if I did, I might have thought of it as an “implied subjunctive.” But “I” works very well, and I’ve changed it. I really appreciate your close attention.
September 29, 2011 at 7:36 pm
nice…some really nice metaphors here…ilike the lightbulb andyour closing stanzacomes together really nicely…and a nice villanelle…form gives me fits honestly….so that is a part of craft i need to learn…my poetry just spills out…
September 29, 2011 at 7:53 pm
I love finding structure in a sea of free verse as my pen prefers form as well. A really nice villanelle, one form that I have yet to tackle successfully.
Thoroughly enjoyed!
Beth
September 29, 2011 at 11:23 pm
great imagery in your wandering brain villanelle – i think the villanelle form with your carefully chosen refrains suits the topic so fantastically…
September 30, 2011 at 6:20 am
Thanks, Claudia.
September 29, 2011 at 11:24 pm
OOOOOO, I like. Luved the form, voice and texture of the piece. Great comparrison tween egg and lightbulb. Excellent.
September 30, 2011 at 12:43 pm
I, for one, am glad you reposted because I’ve not read this before. I loved it. The villanelle form works wonderfully for this topic. My favorite line is “but whole years seem as spent as last month’s pay.” Peace, Linda
September 30, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Thanks!
September 30, 2011 at 1:37 pm
This is just outstanding. Beautifully crafted.
September 30, 2011 at 1:52 pm
Thanks so much.
September 30, 2011 at 4:18 pm
Love rhyme good villanelle.
September 30, 2011 at 9:16 pm
I enjoyed your wit in this piece, as well as your skill with the form.
October 25, 2011 at 8:28 pm
you never know what muses can lead you.
impressive metaphors, well done.