Blocking Writer’s Block – Swallowing Rejection (With Bhavana)
Rejection- Hurts Going Down
Today, I thought I’d focus on one of the biggest blocks to a struggling writer: rejection.
Rejection feels awful to anyone, whether it arrives in one’s personal or professional life, but it presents a double-whammy for a writer, perhaps because it automatically hits on both the personal and professional level.
Hard for anyone to swallow, it is an especially stony lump for someone who regularly focuses on “voice.”
It doesn’t help much to hear about the zillions of rejection letters received by famous writers.
For one thing, those famous writers are not you (and they were eventually famous.)
For another, writing is hard work; it takes time and has significant opportunity costs. While success/acknowledgement may not make the work fundamentally easier, it does seem to offer the struggling writer more time to write. It also offers a channel, a place and encouragement for “flow.” And a sense of respect. It can be easy to feel stopped up without those things.
What to do?
I am reminded of a yoga teacher who talked about the distinction between the sanskrit terms “bhava” and “bhavana.” He described Bhava as a state of spiritual ecstasy; bhavana as the cultivation of spirituality, the actual practices of devotion.
The fact is, he said, that you cannot force bhava–you can’t even be sure whether spiritual practice or any particular effort will induce it. But, while you are waiting and hoping (uncertainly) for enlightenment, you can at least go through some set of motions. You can, in other words, cultivate a discipline that feels like the groundwork for ecstasy, even understanding the quantum leap between discipline and ecstasy, and in that practice, you can, perhaps, achieve at least a certain contentment.
So (I tell myself), you cannot force success in the writing world, no matter how hard you work and scheme and (literally) plot.
But you can take steps to grant yourself some of the benefits you think that success would give.
More time? To the extent practicable, allow yourself to take that time.
A channel? At least get a writing-minded friend.
Respect is harder to come by, but at least try to respect yourself enough to finish what you begin.
Most importantly, keep in mind what started you writing to begin with; that you enjoy saying things. In print.
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ManicDDaily 
March 22, 2011 at 11:57 pm
I think the first part of your article is spot on – rejection is SO painful and personal when linked to your writing, because you bare your soul when you write, and often the story has become so entwined with who you are, that a rejection of your writing is also a rejection of you as a person.
My first novel just did the rounds of publishers – most of the rejections I received were really positive, which was nice … if not frustrating! However the one thing that IS worse than rejection, is a rejection where they don’t even acknowledge you! Four months after submission, several editors haven’t even bothered to reply to my agent, which I just think is so disrespectful and unprofessional. Don’t they realise how much effort we put into those 90,000+ words, and how all we expect is perhaps a hundred or so in response … even if their overall tone is negative?!
C-C xx
March 23, 2011 at 6:50 am
Dear Charly, agreed. I think most places don’t demand exclusive submissions any more, but, of course, there, the failure to respond is especially heinous. Good luck! And thanks for reading.
K.