Triolets (Waltzing Not-Mathilda)
Here are two triolets! A triolet is a medieval form that is the subject of a wonderful article by Samuel Peralta and Gay Reiser Cannon for dVerse Poets Pub Form For All. It is a form involving repeating lines. (I think of it as a short waltz of a villanelle, but I’m not sure where the 1-2-3 comes from except that the first line is repeated three times.)
Below are my two draft attempts; they use some of the same lines. I personally think the second is better (though maybe I can work them into a pair.)
Starting to Unwind (Beginning Yoga)
I found that I’d not breathed for many years
and that my heart was lodged in my right-hand back.
I’d recycled air from way back when and fears
I found that I’d not breathed for many years
to anyone–not sympathetic ears,
nor those stopped up against a hurting fact
I’d found. I had not breathed for many years;
my heart was lodged in my right-hand back.
Who knows?
I found that I’d not breathed since who knows when–
a cherry blossom spring, I wore white gloves
whose seams ran up my hand, then back again.
I found that I’d not breathed since– Who knows when
the heart bursts seams when it finds a pen
to hold it, when it leashes its wild loves?
I found that I’d not breathed since who knows when,
a cherry blossom spring–I wore white gloves.
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Tags: losses in childhood, manicddaily, poem about cherry blossoms, poem about growing up, poem about yoga, poems about beginning yoga, triolets
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ManicDDaily 
March 8, 2012 at 10:14 pm
ok i love the sherry blossom spring int he second and how that plays on the had not breathed because i always think of them blowing off the tree…
i think the first is more evocative to me honestly…your anchors are stronger to me…
March 8, 2012 at 10:20 pm
Yes, I can see that. (Why I put them both up.) I loved your burbling! K.
March 8, 2012 at 11:22 pm
These are both well-crafted poets. The first has the strong anchor lines, and the second has that twist of meaning in the final lines, a hallmark of the best triolets.
March 8, 2012 at 11:30 pm
These are excellent–and I also find the first draws me in a bit more–I don’t know why, because the second has some lovely images and as Sam says, that haunting twist at the end–maybe the first is just a little more bare and real, which suits my mood tonight–regardless, I knew you’d absolutely sail on this form. Great work.
March 9, 2012 at 12:16 am
i like them both k. – happens so easily that we stop breathing in a way with all the demands of everyday life…and i like how you weave the cherry blossoms in with the white gloves.
March 9, 2012 at 1:22 am
I like the second one better, too, though both are quite good. I love the variation in the punctuation in the lines that are the “same.” I almost caught myself holding my breath. Peace, Linda
March 9, 2012 at 3:50 am
I’m clear the second works best for me; perhaps because I feel the imagery is so deep and layered and I like very well the final couplet.
Yet I admire both and think you’ve done noble work here.
March 9, 2012 at 4:30 am
I agree with Gay, the second works best, but both tick all the boxes for me. Great post as per usual! Thanks.
March 9, 2012 at 5:04 am
The first has a stronger refrain, the second has stronger imagery – in my opinion at least. Enjoyed them both though.
March 9, 2012 at 8:23 am
I like both but the second better, K! The second allows some waltzing with more imagery that makes it smooth when reading. Great!
Hank
March 9, 2012 at 8:24 am
I like both but the second better, K! The second allows more waltzing with more imagery that makes it smooth when reading. Great!
Hank
March 9, 2012 at 8:25 am
THanks so much, Hank.
March 9, 2012 at 10:01 am
I like them both, for different reasons, first one for the strong anchor and the second for the movement. Very nicely done!
March 9, 2012 at 11:04 am
Thanks so much. K.
March 9, 2012 at 6:00 pm
I think these are enlightening poems, told back to back the way they are. the integration of yoga practice into the form is quite innovative and refreshing. I think you’ve used the form so effortlessly, I sit a bit amazed at how easily it moves organically from thought to thought and evince a sense of true progression and development rather than a cyclical motion.
March 9, 2012 at 8:37 pm
Thanks so much, Charles. I’m going to try another one soon. (I loved yours.) K.
March 10, 2012 at 3:09 pm
Love like you write!