Food, Mattresses, Eulogy?
Too-quick drawing of my sweet dad
It is hard to explain how much there is to do after a death. It is a crazy time, so rushed historically because of the fragile nature of the body, and now because of the difficult interplay of multiple schedules.
So what are some of the tasks?
Picking out clothes to take to the funeral home. Something nice, but perhaps not too nice. (You won’t get them back.) In accordance with family regulations, you must make any family member near the same size try on selected outfits first to make sure that any clothes chosen are not things that might have remained with the living.
Buying food. More food. Sandwiches? Shrimp? Is Champagne weird? If not, should we get the one whose name is like that of an old friend? (Yes.)
Calling people. Writing people. Sitting with those who come to visit. Accepting hugs.
Cleaning. Going into the decedent’s room and discretely taking out the more unpleasant reminders: rubber gloves–compressed oxygen.
Getting beds organized. Airplane tickets. Car pick-ups. Mattresses. Sheets. More food.
Cleaning out the fridge–Ensures don’t need to be refrigerated and space is needed for all that food.
Negotiating funeral program. Reading Bible verses. Considering non-Bible Verses. Hurriedly drawing sketch that can be printed on a small-town church printing system.
Music?
Of course, music.
Oh dear, music!
Photographs.
Helping to pick out clothes for the widow. Promoting the benefits of hearing aids. Assuaging grief.
Grieving.
Organizing more food.
And more clean up.
A eulogy.
Mattresses.
Explore posts in the same categories: iPad art, Vicissitudes of LifeTags: days after death, iPad art, manicddaily, organizing for funeral
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ManicDDaily 
January 7, 2012 at 6:45 am
I’m sorry about your Dad…… You reminded me of how incredibly precious the people in our lives are Miss Manic. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family…… John
January 7, 2012 at 8:25 pm
Thanks so much, John. I’ve missed you! Hope all is well. K.
January 7, 2012 at 10:48 am
And prayers…always prayers.
January 7, 2012 at 8:26 pm
You are right. K.
January 7, 2012 at 8:45 pm
About ten years ago this time of the year my own father passed away. He had a heart attack so his death was a bit unexpected, though he’d had health issues for years. I feel the years he was with us after his heart surgery years before were a gift and a blessing. He lived much longer than most people do following a four-way bypass.
I remember going through much of what you mention on your post–the choices, the sorting, the grieving. I wish you and your family peace at this time. You’ll miss him; I know. I miss my father every day, still. But may you have peace and comfort from those around you and all those who appreciate and miss him. It is a blessing to know how much someone is loved.
January 7, 2012 at 9:48 pm
Thanks very much, Yousei. Your kind thoughts and shared experience are much appreciated. So crazy how these things work out. K.
January 7, 2012 at 9:52 pm
There is so much sadness in the world. You take things one day at a time, as the old cliche goes, and pretty soon the hurt is still there, but it is more bearable. The aftermath of death is the time I hate most of all. The unctuous words of funeral directors and all the well meaning actions and words forcing us to move and move. You capture that time very well here.
January 8, 2012 at 10:15 pm
Karin, so sorry not to be in tune with what you’re going through, or what you meant. Of course you don’t want to read silly poems right now about a (to me) pretentious made up form of poetry that (again to me) mocks both the dead and the living. The form itself at the time made me so mad I could spit, with its cavalier pseudo-eastern flip ersatz ‘deepness,’ hence the sarcastic poem. Death to me is a staggeringly real part of life, and the idea that the poet should pretend to be dead while wandering through and writing about the business of living just childishly stupid (yeah, to me–the guy who invented it became famous for it.) You have nothing but my sympathy and best wishes, and again, sorry to be out of touch because of feeling like crud, and sorry if you ever read something at my place that makes you uncomfortable or makes things harder in any way.