Expression of Emotion in Poetry (Muted) – Burned Soldier
Victorio Ceretto-Slotto is hosting the dVerse Poets Pub “Meet the Bar” event today, and has posted an article about infusing poetry with emotion through use of particular detail and metaphor (among other things.) She has very kindly included my poem “Far” in her article. (I am also, at a later date, linking this poem to the Poetry Picnic.)
Here’s another older poem, a villanelle, that doesn’t really have the kind of particular detail Victoria writes of. Still, I’m posting it because it deals, quite literally, with the muted expression of emotion. (My apologies that some readers may have seen this poem, or its companion villanelle.)
Burned Soldier (A Mask For Face)
He tried to smile but found that skin would balk;
a mask for face was not what he had planned.
Right action should give rise to right result,
saving the day as it called on God to halt
all burn and bite of bomb as if by wand;
he tried to smile but found that skin would balk.
When they talked of graft, he always thought of molt,
as if his flesh held feathers that could span
right action, then give rise to right result:
cheeks that were smooth but rough, but loose but taut—
it all had been so easy as a man.
He tried to smile but found that skin would balk.
Hate helped at times; to think it was their fault.
But how could “they” be numbered? Like grains of sand,
like actions that give rise to like result,
like eyes that fit in lids not white as salt.
This lead white face was not what he had planned.
He tried to smile but found that skin would balk;
right action should give rise to right result.
On a very different (i.e. humerous) note, check out my new silly teen novel, Nose Dive, by Karin Gustafson, illustrated (terrifically) by Jonathan Segal. (When you’re there–take a look at Going on Somewhere, or 1 Mississippi.) Sorry–but it’s that time of year.
Explore posts in the same categories: iPad art, poetry, Uncategorized, villanelleTags: Burned Soldier, dVerse Poets Pub, Karin Gustafson poetry, manicddaily, soldier poem, Victoria C. Slotto, villanelle
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ManicDDaily 
December 8, 2011 at 8:13 pm
there is a metallica song…One…they used to listen to it all the time in the lunch room and the video was chilling…i would not want to be this man…
February 16, 2012 at 11:07 am
That vid still haunts me.
December 8, 2011 at 8:15 pm
December 8, 2011 at 9:57 pm
Whoa. Very heavy. Thanks. I worry that I did not post the kind of poem Victoria was talking of, but you know, this posting business kind of hard. Hope your son feeling better. K.
December 8, 2011 at 8:33 pm
Wonderful villanelle! You’ve captured such loss in these lines–I look forward to reading more 🙂
December 8, 2011 at 8:48 pm
So sad… well expressed… I also liked your poem featured on dVerse… congrats!
December 8, 2011 at 9:42 pm
Powerful piece.
December 8, 2011 at 10:27 pm
yes…but such fresh language, the use of disparate language, startling and such effective line breaks– beautiful. I am stunned by the poem on dverse~ gorgeous, gorgeous. I like repetitiion too… xxxj you know where I am–
December 8, 2011 at 10:48 pm
Oh, I think this is perfect, Karin. The words and images elicit a powerful emotional response. The part that really got to me was not being able to smile because of taught skin. Heartbreaking reality being faced by so many.
December 8, 2011 at 10:51 pm
Well, that’s what I was thinking of–this whole idea of the difficulty of expressing emotion–I forgot you are a nurse.
I do think in your post the particularity of detail is so important, which, of course, is quite hard to get in something like a villanelle. There the emotional pull comes more from a kind of irony I think–the way the repetition changes. I don’t know. It’s an interesting question. I’ve always liked forms because they limited my choices, but I am getting to feel more confident with free verse of late. K.
December 9, 2011 at 1:17 am
dang..this is heavy stuff…was so absorbed by your words that i only realized afterwards it is a villanelle..very well done karin
December 9, 2011 at 4:08 am
I came back to tell you how beautiful this is:
I could almost not look
at the man, as if his pain
might brim over,
scald me too, and yet another part of me,
what I like to think of as a part
that catches light like the curve of
a cup, or perhaps a part that is
dark, swirling, like the grain in the veneer
of even a plastic tabletop, that part that
somehow recalls a tree (or at least, the idea
of a tree), shifted my chair closer, wanting
to drink with him that
fresh, hot tea,
anything that could pass for succor.
xxxj
December 9, 2011 at 6:46 am
Thanks so much. The poem was revised from a draft posted in April, which is a month un which I like to do a draft poem a day, but that part snuck in in the revising. It bears out truth of Victoria’s message as I was a trying to think of how to fix the poem and really made myself picture the restaurant–plastic round table, etc. k.
December 9, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Thought this seemed familiar–I think you picked a very powerful and effective(and intensely poetic, though I kinda hate that word) choice for your repeating line. I agree with you on the uses of form for focus and direction–I haven’t written much of it lately either, though. This is I think, very well fitted to the prompt, and an excellent villanelle as well.
December 9, 2011 at 4:14 pm
Yes, you may remember the companion, or this one linked to that post. I keep kicking myself for other poems, or even villanelles, that are a bit less obvious in terms of emotion, that I feel I should have put up, but it’s okay. It’s nice to put a poem out that has gotten very little attention (like this one.) Not that any have gotten so much attention (!) but this has been a bit buried. And I enjoyed doing the drawing–first black but blue seemed more military–crazy what goes through one’s mind doing this stuff.
October 26, 2012 at 1:10 pm
Yes, I can see the relationship–maybe this was the one that inspired mine. Since I didn’t bother to specify in my notes, my plaqued-up memory synapses are useless to pin it down. I think you’re very justified in being proud of this one–it is ringing, dynamic, a poem of ideas as much as language, where each enhances the other.
October 26, 2012 at 1:18 pm
Well, thanks much if you think it inspired it. It was based on an incredibly sad photo series in the Times a couple of years back where they showed these U.s. Iraq war veterans who had been terribly wounded, and in one case, burned. Really a circumstance which is beyond description (and probably imagining beforehand.) k.
October 26, 2012 at 1:27 pm
And one we find too easy to look away from, or forget. One good thing(if anything can be good about this mess) about the presidential campaign, at least it has forced some notion that we are STILL at war back into the media. For several years now there’s been too much forgetting.
October 26, 2012 at 1:49 pm
A little bit of attention, but not really enough. Amazing, honestly. As if flag pin were enough. k.
December 10, 2011 at 7:37 pm
powerful, bless you.
December 10, 2011 at 8:06 pm
Thanks, Morning–I haven’t been able to get on your site. I’ll try again, but I kept getting a notice it had moved. K.
February 5, 2012 at 6:18 pm
Awesome write, Karin! Well done!
February 5, 2012 at 7:28 pm
Thanks so much, Charles.
February 5, 2012 at 9:51 pm
quite theme fitting and lovely.
a unique perspective.
February 6, 2012 at 12:48 pm
creepy imagery…well done entry.
February 8, 2012 at 9:57 pm
every time I visit you, you have a different theme and newly created image,
very impressive imagery, thanks for sharing.
February 8, 2012 at 10:54 pm
Thanks, Summer! I do my own art work most of the time, so it’s fun for me. k.
February 14, 2012 at 11:10 pm
love this…
stunning art and poetry.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
😉