“Staccato Poem?” – “World War I Veteran” – Belated Armistice Day
Today, dVerse Poets Pub has a “form for all” challenge hosted by Gay Reiser Cannon and Beth Winter, to write a “staccato” poem. I had not heard of this form before, and although Gay and Beth give both a good explanation and great examples of it in their own poetry blogs, I’m not completely sold on it. (It involves two six line stanzas with a series of couplets and internal rhymes and certain emphatic repeated words.)
My own staccato poem came to mind in thinking belatedly of Armistice Day, the end of World War I.
I’m sorry, I’m afraid my iPad painting came out a bit more grisly than intended. That said, World War I seems to be almost as grisly a war as one can imagine.
World War I Veteran
She now speaks of her uncle’s mask with pride,
how she, her brother, each sniffed deep inside–
Yes! Yes!–they put their faces in–
(eyes bug’s), imagined traces in
the mustiness–of mustard’s scent and mud;
and yes, on khaki’s fade, the stain, old blood.
Knew only what they heard or read or guessed–
their uncle never spoke, not even yes
or no. (No! No!) Made tooled leather
wallets and small sacs to gather
coins. Though often he just sat in his old car,
not able to manage masks, no, anymore.
Tags: iPad art, ManicDDaily poetry, poem about WWI veteran, Staccato poem, World War I poem, WWI gas mask
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ManicDDaily 
November 17, 2011 at 8:39 pm
Really like your variation in the second stanza. Great job with the form. You can tell you enjoyed working with it, it shows here. Thanks
November 17, 2011 at 8:41 pm
Thanks.
November 17, 2011 at 8:57 pm
turned to a war poem..interesting.
I like how you begin with the niece and nephew (siblings) were sneaking sniffs inside the gas mask. ( picture a furtiveness, anyway….there may not be.)
the Vet never tells. It’s just not right to do so. It’s the Vet’s solemness…there’s no comparison.
nice description here and a whole lot on the uncle.
good job.
November 17, 2011 at 9:01 pm
Thanks–the niece is my mom, of course. And the uncle really did not speak as far as I know though he may have said a few things to my Grandmother, who really rescued him after the war. I think he was very “shell-shocked” as they called it then. PTSD, I suppose they’d call it now.
November 17, 2011 at 9:30 pm
Well, I don’t know why you aren’t completely sold on the form. This is really very good. While working in the form, you adapted it to your words and look what happened. You marched out with a powerful poem. And I happen to like the picture 😀 Well done.
November 17, 2011 at 9:52 pm
Ha! Thanks. I was pleased that it worked out, but I am naturally suspicious of the new!
November 17, 2011 at 10:53 pm
You must be on a MacBook. I can’t figure out how to get my drawings on my ipad onto my pc. Do you transfer it through itunes?
Ok enough about technical questions. I loved the picture and the poem. I’m with Beth. Cannot see why you wouldn’t love it as you managed to really bend it to the subject matter, giving us both an external story and an internal one. Often the more one compresses, the more to read in the spaces. There was a lot in yours. Excellent.
November 17, 2011 at 11:20 pm
Gay, first, thanks.
Re iPad! I do use a MacBook, but I don’t usually go through Macbook, this is what I usually do (since it’s fastest): For blogging, I have the WordPress App, which, I believe, is free. I upload the drawing to my photos, then directly onto the blog from my iPad using the WordPress App. Sometimes I will do my whole blog on the iPad. (I also was given a separate bluetooth keyboard which I find extremely handy. For me, it is much better than typing on the onscreen keyboard.) I have a Pages App on the iPad which I also sometimes use for that.
If I don’t feel like doing the text on the iPad, I just upload the drawing onto the blog using the WordPress App. Then save it as a draft blog, then go back and finish the posting on my MacBook. I’m sure it would also work on a PC, as by the time I am using the computer, the drawing is already uploaded onto the blog. The only issue is that the iPad drawing uploads as a very large drawing so it can sometimes be hard to actually get beneath it. (It works better to paste the text on rather than type it on.)
The other thing you can do is sync your iPad to your computer. First you should upload the drawing to your photos (on the iPad), and then when you sync, the jpeg of the drawing should go straight to your photos. The computer may ask you to do this, but it’s pretty automatic.
Finally, you can just email the drawing to yourself and then upload it from your computer. The only problem with that is that the file tends to get compressed, making the picture smaller.
I’m sorry to bore you with all that!
In terms of poem, thanks. I’m always a bit suspicious of a new form because, while it does get you out of your old trough, I worry that I become the servant of the form. I’m less suspicious of it with something traditional because I am really schooled in the music of the traditional forms.
But I did appreciate the challenge, and the chance to try something new. (I would not have otherwise done that.) So, thanks very much! K.
November 17, 2011 at 11:24 pm
A bit of history done so well! And I like how you adapted the form a bit to fit with what you were after. It works. I probably should have done that. I like your creative drawing too!
November 17, 2011 at 11:30 pm
Very evocative and effective, looks like you were the one in charge not the form.
November 17, 2011 at 11:38 pm
very nice…i like the story you wove…of the curiousity fo the kids and the mask to him not telling…i dont know that i would want to either…
November 18, 2011 at 7:37 am
Love the description of the mask in the first stanza and the ending made me sad.
November 18, 2011 at 8:05 am
Yes, it was very sad really. Thanks.
November 18, 2011 at 10:03 am
well done, imho
November 18, 2011 at 10:19 am
Wow. Considering you weren’t sold on it, you sure made it work here. Great imagery…haunting and sad. Love this: “he just sat in his old car”…
November 18, 2011 at 6:02 pm
I really like the painting of the mask and your poem both–good job with a form that you don’t particularly care for. It’s such a pity that those vets feel so compelled to not share what they went through and then suffer from it so much afterward. I feel a lot of compassion for them–and for your uncle too.
November 18, 2011 at 6:14 pm
Thanks. Actually, and I don’t think I made this clear in the poem–I don’t think he (great uncle) spoke at all afterwards.
November 18, 2011 at 9:27 pm
Oh, that makes his story even more tragic. So very sorry.
November 18, 2011 at 9:37 pm
No, no–long time ago. I think a lot of World War I soldiers were “shell-shocked.” In terms of the poem, I should probably change the title, but we all did those poems so fast. K.
November 19, 2011 at 2:37 am
oh wow – really well done…also like your drawing…a well penned approach on a tough topic and love that you weave the family in as well
November 19, 2011 at 9:59 am
because the drawing seems ghoulish gives the realism to war and your write more impact, nice job, enjoyed
November 19, 2011 at 10:08 am
Thanks,Christine.
November 19, 2011 at 10:15 am
Nice match of story and form
November 19, 2011 at 11:44 pm
I’m with Beth on this one. Very nice tale using the form. Another nice art from the Pad too.