ManicDDaily

Elephants Watching World Cup

You will find below the ManicDDaily guide to rooting for teams competing in the 2010 World Cup.

Correction:  this is not a guide to actual rooting.  I do not include instruction in drumming, kazooing, dancing, cheering, and swinging “revenge-of-the-angry-bees” noisemakers.  This is a guide to choosing teams to root for, written for those, like me, who have absolutely no knowledge of any of the teams or current players.

1. Determine which team’s country will be made happiest by the win;  factors to be considered include number of prior wins, perception of national commitment to the game, and recent national hardships such as flood, financial collapse, coup d’etat, etc.
2. Determine which team will be made happiest by the win, and, in your one-hour-or-so appraisal, is most deserving.    Factors to consider include team spirit as measured by hugs, bottom pats, tears.  Modesty, as measured in determined faces/sheepish grins.  Are there any particularly cute players?
3. Factor in your personal experiences of the team’s country, i.e.  how’s the food?
4. Assign points.

Here’s how the system would work for a game like this morning—ARGENTINA v. NIGERIA.

1.            Your college-age daughter has a boyfriend from Argentina who spends a fair amount of time at your apartment.  Nigeria – 1.

2.              Stop that!  He really is a good kid.  Argentina – 1.

3.              His folks are nice too.  Argentina – 2.

4.            One the other hand, he’ll crow all day if Argentina wins.  Nigeria – 2.

5.              Besides that, Nigeria will be so happy is Nigeria wins.   All of Africa will be happy.  Nigeria – 3.

6.             But Argentina will be so upset, and their economy has had a very hard time over the last several years.  Argentina – 3.

7.            But African countries rarely win, and Argentina wins all the time.  Nigeria – 4.

8.            He may be really upset….

9.             But Argentina does make wonderful wine.  Argentina – 4.

10.           But Africa has elephants.  Nigeria – 5.

11.            Red wine.   Argentina – 5.

Hmmm…..   What was that cute player/deserving team thing?

This entry was posted on June 12, 2010 at 9:35 am and is filed under elephants, news. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.

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